Episode 14 - Kat (The power of post menopause)

Join me in talking with Kat about the power of post-menopause.

Erin is the creator and host of Menopause Chats. She is also a somatic and intuitive coach who helps women in the in-between live with more magic and intention through her signature approach The 5 Cs of Becoming Her. More information at: www.pauseandalign.com

The stories shared in Menopause Chats are not intended as medical advice, but for information and entertainment. Please seek a medical professional for specific advice regarding your menopause journey. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi everyone, I'm Erin Dorusca. Welcome to Menopause Chats. I am excited to have my friend Kat joining us today. So please welcome Kat uh and tell us a little bit about where you are in your journey.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Yes. So first of all, Erin, I'm so glad you're doing this. We should all talk more about menopause because we're not crazy. We're just half of the population going through a hormonal change, right? And um I'm postmenopausal. And um, when you told me that you were gonna do this, I was like, that is so good. I want to support you. I want everybody to just, you know, blow the taboo apart that surrounds menopause. Um so I so what do you want me to talk about? So I'm postmenopausal. I'm I am on a steady, good rhythm again with my life. Everything feels in balance and I feel fit and healthy and high energy.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

And so uh so so you're I love this because you're coming from the lake. I'm in the after, and it's and it's in I'm in the water and it's very warm and lovely. So, what was it like before you got to this point?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Well, what was interesting for me is you know, that when I went through that whole change, it was I just suddenly felt low energy, I felt, you know, emotional, I felt rage, and like, but it was hard to know what's what because I was also a you know professional woman traveling internationally and having a lot of jet lag. Um, I um was putting kids into college and stressing about the money situation there and where they're gonna end up. And I was also, you know, having a mom that was having real health issues and you know, lived on another continent. So, and I think that's very common at that time in someone's life is that there's all this going on and you're just super busy and then you don't know what's what. Was it the jet lag, or was it that I'm worrying about the kids and my parents, or is it, you know, is it yeah. So that was a confusing time. It was very emotional in a lot of ways.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

And I know you, we've talked about this before, but I know for you, you're not normally uh someone who's angry, or you know, I I I experience you as someone very delightful. I enjoy your company, you're normally pretty upbeat, but you've shared with me that you had some like some some rage.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yeah, yeah, that yeah, there's really two things that really surprised me about menopause. And and one thing was rage, because yes, I consider myself uh, well, I feel I'm blessed with a very you know positive constitution. I'm pretty upbeat. And um, and so it was really interesting when I, you know, suddenly, you know, found myself yelling at a parking lot attendant who gave me a fine that I felt was unjustified. And I found myself yelling at the top of my lungs at this poor person. And but like it was like you know, I was having this out of body experience, observing myself, yelling at this person, like full of rage. And it's going at the same time, I'm observing myself, and at the same time, like another part of me is going, what's going on? That's really me. Why am I why am I like that? And and so I think that was very clearly menopause. I mean, it was hormonal. Um, you know, and then the other thing that also was really kind of that really bothered me is that I would suddenly find like clumps of hair in the shower. Not clumps, but like, oh my gosh, I was shedding like crazy. And I started to like really thin out hair here and here. And I was gonna gosh, I'm going bald. That's horrible. I think we identify ourselves so much with hair and with how we look. And you know, I never thought I did so much that that was such a big part of me, but still, I was like, when I started losing, you know, thinning hair, it was it was really shocking. Uh, the good news here for everybody, okay? Like if anybody here is had experiencing hair loss, it's like it's totally stabilized. I'm fine, like I, you know, I'm not balding, you know, but I was really worried that I did, and I didn't really feel comfortable telling my friends, like, hey, are you also? Yeah, it was just like there's this like it's a very silent time, like we're going through it very silently, and that shouldn't be the case at all.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Yeah, I mean, I I've been talking about all parts of my body on this because I do, I think people, you know, need to hear these things, right? And it's funny because you you know, when I reflect back, some also post-menopausal, but when I was reflecting back, of like I I've always lost, I have I've always had a lot of hair, and so I've always especially when my hair's long, I always end up even when I was younger, like just my hair just always all over the place. Um, one time my hair actually made it to England before I ever made it to England. A friend of mine was traveling and my hair, because it just falls out, was like in their luggage, and they're like, Oh, by the way, found one of your hairs today. And I but probably during the period where I was probably most perimenopausal and just didn't realize it, I was like losing a lot of hair, like a lot more hair than normal. And I'm just like, oh, is this like I and I thought maybe it was dietary, it was during COVID time. So also, like, is it related to the pandemic? I don't, I don't know. Um, because it wasn't on my radar to think that it could have been related to menopause at all. Like it just wasn't anything, and my doctors weren't talking to me about it. So I'm like, all right, you know, and now in hindsight, I was like, oh yeah, probably it wasn't dietary, it was probably because again I'm back to my normal amount of shedding.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. And it's that's another thing when you just said, like, your doctor wasn't telling you, it's like that. I find that shocking. And I have a female physician, we talked about it. It's like that's weird, you know, and it's such a normal change that half the population goes through, you know. Um here we are. Here we are. Yeah, so that's kind of my my thing. And then I have a friend who uh, but I did good. I did not have you know, hot flash, not a lot of hot flashes. I had some, but not like, oh my gosh, some some poor women and some poor friends of mine really had it, but I had a very trim fit friend who had such bad hot flashes, she couldn't even sleep anymore. She was just constantly like, and so she finally decided to go on hormone replacement therapy and uh blimped out like crazy. You know, it was like weird to see my very trim friend suddenly like, but she said she'll take that anytime over the hot flashes, and it's like, okay, just do what you gotta do. You know, it's like there I don't think there's a hard, fast rule about what you should and should not do. It's like it's your own body.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Yeah, that's what I feel. It's like it's your personal decision. Consult a professional, yeah, for sure. Who is informed around menopause care? Yes, exactly. Also, you know, it's a personal decision. Like even my practitioner, you know, we had a long discussion, not really sort of related, but not related to menopause, like of you know, my cholesterol is a little bit high. Like, do I go on a statin? Do I not go on a statin? You know, but we had a conversation about it. And I had I did go see a cardiologist and I spoke with him about it as well. And, you know, and he also was like, you know, it's up to you. And here's the side effects, and here's what it could be. And, you know, then I made an informed decision with my doctor of like, uh the side effects seem more worse than like my numbers pretty low, I eat fairly healthy, I manage my stress, I work out. Like, so it's like you know, I think at this time I'm I'm good. But again, an informed decision versus I feel like sometimes my experiences in the past with you know, medical care is just like you need to be on this prescription, here it is. Like, not a conversation, just a choice. I think I don't remember if I've told this on here or not, but I had like years ago, had was having, and now in hindsight, probably was related to menopause or perimenopause and just hormonal changes. My skin of like my and like my vagina was like really was getting dry and irritated, especially if it was like around my cycle. So I was still having a period at this time, or like you know, a light, light period, because I have an IUG. But um, I had gone and talked to her and she was like, because of course, you know, it it wasn't presenting itself when I went in for an appointment. And she was just like, Oh, you it you have herpes. And I was like, Oh, really? I don't think so. I was like, I'd be surprised if I did, you know. And um, she's like, no, absolutely you it sounds like you have herpes, like you need to go get tested for herpes. I was like, fine, I'll go get tested for herpes. It was negative. It's like I knew it wasn't that, but like he was so, you know, like I feel like sometimes it's like there's these boxes I'm looking for to check. And if if and what you just told me checks all the boxes, so therefore it is this. Nine times out of ten, she's right. But for me, I was like, no, like I'm based on my lifestyle, and like I don't think that that's the I don't think that's the case. Um, but you know, I had a I went and got the test and it was fine. And and they ended up treating it as if it was like eczema. Because I also have that, but like, you know, so they were treating it like it was that and really or like a dermatitis or something, right? When really I honestly think if they would have put me on like an estrogen cream or an what I'm on now, which is an estrogen and testosterone cream, it would have been different. And probably it was that.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I find it interesting. You know, I I was in Florida a little while ago and going down a highway in Florida, and it was kind of depressing because it was like, oh, you know, kidney dialysis center, and you know, like um wheelchairs and like it made me feel so old. All the ads were about medical issues people have, older people have. And one of them was like, I mean, not one of them, like many of them were like erectile dysfunction, erectile dysfunction. And I'm like, okay, that's all about guys. Where's the menopause women ads? You know, like there, and I just find there's such a lack of balance in terms of information for men's health versus women's health. And I have a friend who is a nurse, and she came home um super upset the other day, where she was like, Oh, I I spent a whole day at the women's health conference, and there were only about 5% male doctors. And she says, if if when you go to a men's health, like all the women in the physicians and nurses are, you know, supposed to attend, and it's it's it's never just like there's such an imbalance between who attends men, guys like don't seem to go to women's health conferences, but women are expected to go to men's related health conferences.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

There's like an imbalance. Yeah, and like what do you do, right? Like they're invited. Right. And then they just didn't even show up. She was really, really frustrated about that. Do you have any advice for women who are just starting their like perimenopause, menopause journey?

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Yeah, the advice. I think the advice is you know, maybe if you can slow down, slow down. Like chime in nature, exercise, be gentle with yourself, trust that, like me, it's really good on the other side of it. Like, literally, like your and my energy came back. If anybody feels like their energy is all over the place, your energy will come back too and stabilize. Um, and I, you know, I'm a long-term meditator, and so I found that you know, after the rage incident, I would go home and I'll sit on my pillow and go. Let's just kind of let go of that, if possible, right? So I think those are just and eating, eating, eating as healthy as possible, which is hard, right? Because I, you know, when you have rage or strong emotions or you're exhausted, you may it's sometimes a glass of red wine seems easier than having a really nutritious meal.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yeah. Or for me, it's like wanting ice cream or chips or something, you know. Everybody has their thing, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What do you hope that women will take away from like your hearing your story?

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Well, just not just hope that you know the this thing about stabilized energy that comes back again. Um and um talk about it with your friends. Don't wait for them to bring it up, you bring it up. Like it needs to be talked about.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah, and I think that that's I mean, that was part of my purpose of starting this, right? Is like, let's just get the conversation out there. Like people get talking about it. And, you know, and even my friend Carrie, who I interviewed, you know, a few episodes ago, you know, mentioned like she's 10 years younger than I am. So she's like, I'm just starting this process and I know more about it because I have, you know, what she called intergenerational friends, right? Like I have friends that, you know, are of different ages, and that's how me know, like, oh yeah, this thing's happening, or I should think about that. So even when I'm talking to people who are much younger than me, you know, who aren't this isn't even on their radar yet. I'm always like, no, like this is what it will be like, you know, and it's okay. I am really hopeful for the younger generation because I do think there are more people talking about it now uh than there were when I was their age, you know, I'm talking about people in their in their mid to late 20s. Um, so it's nice that, you know, so maybe they'll have a different experience because, you know, people like us are having conversations that are accessible to them or other celebrities, you know, celebrities that are having conversations, so bringing it into a bigger spotlight.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

So yeah, and you know, and one thing that I also um I don't know if that's come up in other people you've talked with, but often when women go through menopause, suddenly they become more creative, suddenly they start painting or pottery, or suddenly they're like there's like there's also a really positive aspect of going like entering this other new phase of your life, like creativity and adventure, and like there's it's like and I think I I'm much more comfortable in my skin now than I mean I was always a confident and cocky, but like now I'm just like really just more really comfortable in my skin in a more settled, quieter way, I think. And it feels nice.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Yeah, I I can relate to that. I feel like uh what I wish I could tell my younger self is like don't worry about cellulite on your thighs. Like, don't worry about, you know, like really no one cares. I I really believe that probably nobody really cares but me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's so, you know, it's so much more freeing to just be like, this is who I am. And you know, but then if you don't like it, okay. Yeah. So I think that that's um that is a message that I wish my younger self would hear. I don't know if my younger self would have listened to me. But I do think that it is a uh I would I would like to I in hindsight would like to have had the same confidence I had then or I have now then.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Oh, you know what? I think a difference is in confidence, a shift is that when I was younger, I had like a proving needing to prove kind of confidence, like you know, like and now it's more of I don't have to prove myself. Yeah, you know, and we're kind of I'm like, I feel I entered my wisdom years and it's lovely. Yeah, you know, I'm fully embracing that. And the whole thing about you know, aging and accepting aging, it's like we'll never look younger than today, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:21

I mean, that's the thing, it's like I think of like, oh, I wasted so much time worrying about how I looked, and I looked way better then, you know, or or a little better. It depends, it depended on when because frankly has fluctuated over time, but you know, still but what wasted energy?

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what?

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Like it, you know, I was thinking oh, what what could I have done if I had if I wasn't worrying about that, if I wasn't using the brain space to worry about that?

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Yeah, it's such a waste of energy. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, don't be silent about the menopause. Silence is worse than the actual symptoms. Yeah, yeah. I like that. I think we should end there. Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Like sometimes is worse. Um, so uh thank you everyone. Thank you, Kat. I appreciate you uh being uh being a guest and uh dog. Uh and again, thank you for joining us. Uh please, if you're interested in um, you know, please share, please, you know, comment, please like. Um if you're interested in being a guest, there is uh my link tree is in the bio in my bio, and I would love to have you on. So if you are a midlife lady um going through perimenopause, menopause, I'd love to interview you. I think everybody's stories are super important. Uh, and thank you for listening.